Abridged Twelfth Night/#7/Revenge/Act 2, Scene 3

Toby and Andrew are having a party for themselves at
Olivia’s estate.  Toby asks “Do not our
lives consist of the four elements?”
Andrew replies “Faith, I think it rather consists of eating and
drinking.”  Toby says “Thou’rt a
scholar.”  Feste the Fool enters.  Toby says to him “Let’s have a song.”  The Fool sings “O mistress mine, where are
your roaming? O, stay and hear! Your truelove’s coming, that can sing both high
and low.”  Maria enters and says “For the
love o’ God, peace!”  Malvolio enters and
says “My masters, are you mad?  Have you no wit, manners, nor honesty but to gabble like tinkers at this time of night? Do you make an ale-house of my lady’s house?”
He exits.  Maria says “Sometimes
he is a kind of puritan.”  Andrew says
“O, if I thought that, I’d beat him like a dog!”  Toby says “What, for a being a puritan?”  Andrew replies “I have no exquisite reason
for ‘t, but I have reason good enough.”
Maria says “He is not a puritan, but rather a flatterer, an affected
ass, crammed with excellencies, and on those vices will my revenge find notable
cause to work.”  Toby asks “What wilt
thou do?”  She says “I will drop in his
way some obscure epistles of love.  I can
write very much like my lady your niece.”
Toby says “I smell a device.”
Maria says “For this night, to bed, and dream on the event.
Farewell.”  She exits.  Toby says “She’s a beagle true bred, and one
that adores me.”  Andrew says “I was
adored once, too.”  They exit.

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